Northern Creation

I’m at the top of a hill, peering down and pondering if breaks are even worth using. But the light is still red. I’m not sure where I’m exactly going with this, bear with me - this is rough and I don’t feel like editing (we have these moments) I’m waiting for the walk sign to start the countdown 9…8…7…6… and give me the hand because that is when I start down the hill going as fast as I can pedel and bringing my eye-line down to the handle bars to form that oh so lovely aerodynamic form that helps generate more speed. Alas, mister stick man is still there and I’m going nowhere. I’m on the edge of my toes waiting to go. Stuck on hold.
Within the past year I’ve had many people tell me how patient I am, overall as a person and that it is a gift from God. Most days I don’t get how it is so, but I don’t question it too much because I feel it’s something that just is and it’s not ment to be understood. I leave it at that, makes things simple I guess. BUT right now, HA. I’m kinda losing it because I’m here on hold and waiting for the go ahead but I don’t know where I’m going. I mean this figuratively but also very very literally. More so literally than figuratively. If I don’t know where I will physically be how can I figure out what’s next? Like school, work, relationships, yada yada yada. Gotta do one move to do the rest. I find that when I’m on hold and the cheesy music is playing - few times has it ever been awesome - I lose all patience & that is how I’m feeling currently. However, not on a phone but with my life. Not to get into all the lovely sticky details, but by the end of 2013 I don’t know if I will be 3000 plus miles North in the Arctic Circle, in Portland or in Argentina. Serious. It’s big. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Funny thing is I’m not afraid in the slightest. It’s a strange feeling to be impatient, I’m really not used to it. I bet it’s bad for my health. It will pass. Yeah that is my nutshell.
God has my path and my back. He will lead my little feet and be with me wherever I go. And that is more than I can ask for.
I will ramble on.

What a name, right?

I just sang on the radio. What? Yes, it’s true. About died. It was just one song.
But it was pretty rad.
Had no idea that was in the cards for today.

When your life is all pumped up on I John.

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, wheather they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world.”
- I John 4:1-3

Sitting on my kitchen floor leaning against the oven, cup of tea in hand and doing my tell all twisted-ness to my dear friend. Midway through she asks, Remember the clouds? Um no. I don’t remember saying anything about clouds. She continues, Seriously? It is like my motto for life right now. Well when I was telling you about my gray cloud issue with Courtney and work you said to me ‘Honey, you can run from your clouds all you want but in doing so they will grow, and once that storm hits all hell will rain down on you. And you won’t know what hit you. So go and face your storm.’ After you told me that I did just that, I faced my storm. In facing it there was such a relief and freedom after that. SO Rachelle, do that. Confront your cloud. Dammit. Why did you have to say that? I didn’t, you did silly. I only reminded you.
Yep. In that moment I had my own advice and words come back at me and slap me in the face. Hilarious.
I wonder why I have to say things that sometimes make sense.

I’ve never asked this of anyone and don’t imagine I will do so in a long time. But, I could really use a shoulder to cry on.
Any takers?

The coffee is free.
“Here’s your ticket - please take a seat.”
People watching comes with a service fee.